When classes began two weeks ago, we were asked to listen to and analyze the song "Les Maudits Français." The song title translates to "The Damn French" and was written by Lynda Lemay, a singer/songwriter from Portneuf, Québec, Canada. It uses the French language (Québécois to be exact) to poke fun at the French a little. I've done my best to translate the text, but there remain some familial Québécois terms that are difficult to translate.
Click
here to listen to the song.
Y parlent avec des mots précis
They speak using precise wordsPuis y prononcent toutes leurs syllabes
Then they pronounce all of their syllablesÀ tout bout d'champ, y s'donnent des bis
At any second, they give kissesY passent leurs grandes journées à table
they spend days at the dinner tableY ont des menus qu'on comprend pas
they have menus that we can't understandY boivent du vin comme si c'était d'l'eau
they drink wine like it's waterY mangent du pain pis du foie gras
they eat bread and foie grasEn trouvant l'moyen d'pas être gros
while still finding ways not to be fatY font des manifs aux quart d'heure
they have protests every 15 minutesÀ tous les maudits coins d'rue
in all damn corners of the roadTous les taxis ont des chauffeurs
all of the taxis have driversQui roulent en fous, qui collent au cul
who drive crazily and bumper-to-bumperEt quand y parlent de venir chez nous
and when they talk about coming here (Québec)C'est pour l'hiver ou les indiens
it's for winter or the IndiansLes longues promenades en Ski-doo
for long rides in Ski-doosOu encore en traîneau à chiens
or more dog sleddingIls ont des tasses minuscules
they have tiny glasses (cups)Et des immenses cendriers
and immense ashtraysY font du vrai café d'adulte
they make real strong coffeeIls avalent ça en deux gorgées
which they swallow in two gulpsOn trouve leurs gros bergers allemands
we find their huge German ShepardsEt leurs petits caniches chéris
and their precious poodlesSur les planchers des restaurants
on the floor of restaurantsDes épiceries, des pharmacies
and in delis and pharmaciesY disent qu'y dînent quand y soupent
they say they eat dinner when the eat supperEt y est deux heures quand y déjeunent
and it's already two o'clock when they eat lunch
Au petit matin, ça sent l'yaourt
breakfast smells like yogurtY connaissent pas les œufs-bacon
they don't know bacon and eggsEn fin d'soirée, c'est plus chocroute
at the end of the day, it's more sauerkrautMagret d'canard ou escargots
duck cutlets or snailsTout s'déroule bien jusqu'à c'qu'on goûte
everything is alright until we tasteÀ leur putain de tête de veau-
their damn tête de veau (famous French food dish which is actually meat from a cows head). Un bout d'paupière, un bout d'gencive
a piece of eyelid, a piece of gum (not chewing gum...)Un bout d'oreille, un bout d'museau
a piece of ear, a piece of nose Pour des papilles gustatives de québécois, c'est un peu trop-
for the taste buds of a québécois, it's a little muchPuis, y nous prennent pour un martien
then, they think we're martiansQuand on commande un verre de lait
when we ask for a glass of milkOu quand on demande : La salle de bain
or when we ask 'the bathroom¹
Est à quelle place, S.V.P ?
is where, please?'
Et quand ils arrivent chez nous
and when they come to our countryY s'prennent une tuque et un Kanuk
they take a tuque and a KanukSe mettent à chercher des igloos
and try to find igloosFinissent dans une cabane à sucre
they finish in a sugar hutY tombent en amour sur le coup
they fall in love instantlyAvec nos forêts et nos lacs
with our forests and our lakesEt y s'mettent à parler comme nous
they begin to talk like usApprennent à dire : Tabarnak
and learn to say Tabarnak²Et bien saoulés au caribou
they get dunk with our caribou (drink and animal)À la Molson et au gros gin
and Molson (Canadian beer) and a stiff gin.Y s'extasient sur nos ragoûts
they get excited about our stewsD'pattes de cochon et nos plats d'binnes
with our pig-paws and our bean plattersVu qu'on n'a pas d'fromages qui puent
they see that we don't have stinky cheeseY s'accommodent d'un vieux cheddar
instead they settle for an old cheddarEt y se plaignent pas trop non plus
but they don't complain too muchDe notre petit café bâtard
or about our terrible coffee.Quand leur séjour tire à sa fin
at the end of their stayIls ont compris qu'ils ont plus l'droit
they understand that they don't have the rightDe nous appeler les Canadiens
to call us CanadiansAlors que l'on est québécois
but rather québécoisY disent au revoir, les yeux tout trempés
they say good bye with their eyes all wateryL'sirop d'érable plein les bagages
maple syrup fills their bagsOn réalise qu'on leur ressemble
and we realize our resemblanceOn leur souhaite bon voyage
we wish them 'bon voyage'On est rendu qu'on donne des becs
we give each other kissesComme si on l'avait toujours fait
as if we've always done thatY a comme un trou dans le Québec
it's as if there is an empty space in QuébecQuand partent les maudits français
when the damn French leave.¹ In France, the bathroom (as in the place you go to the bathroom) is called
les toilettes. The other component of the bathroom (where you shower, shave, and get ready in the morning) is called the
salle de bains. They are often separate rooms in the house. In québécois French,
salle de bains is the word used for both components of the bathroom, as they are one room. If you asked someone in France where the bathroom is by using
la salle de bains, they probably would look at you funny wondering why you wanted to take a shower.
² In québécois, "tabarnak" is used like the "f" word in English. It's not found in the French language of France, however.
I started by visiting Paris on May 27. Paris has grown to become one of my favorite cities for a number of reasons. The Paris metropolitan area has about 12 million inhabitants, or approximately 18% of the entire French population. This figure is incredible considering the New York City metro area only contains about 6% of the U.S. population. Paris is also an amazing city from the standpoint of its cultural/political influence in France. In the United States, we have several "hubs" that serve as focal points for various cultural/political activities. For example, Hollywood produces our movies, Washington, D.C. is our nation's governmental capital, New York City is our nation's largest city and our financial capital, our technology sector is centered around Silicon Valley in the San Francisco area, the list goes on. In France, Paris fits the bill for almost all of the facets listed above. It's the national governmental capital, financial capital, fashion capital, entertainment capital, language capital, etc. Very few other countries have just one focal city with so much influence. This is why I have grown to love Paris.
